a visit to the Jesus Army

well we sort of see it as (so i hav been taught) you cant just find god, god needs you. (scairy as it sounds) i duno its hard to explain but everything that you wana explain, you understand perfectly inside. because the mind and the mouth is part of the body, the body has great dificulty understanding the spirit, or putting the greatness you feel in the spirit into words. its like trying to describe an emotion, its so hard to put it into words, but you can feel it deep inside and you dont kno where it is coming from. you know how it feels, but you cant discribe it. when the delivered me (the excercism typ thing) 3 people where praying for me, and then it went more, i duno sped up, more deep, more electric. and i could feel power in their hands and i could feel warm in my arms and legs and this warm tingle was being ripped out of my body through my head. and it made me tingle, cry, laugh. that feeling that makes you laugh when you are being tikled... its not cuz it is at all funny, but that feeling is more, irritation but it makes you laugh... and after they drove it out of me, i just wanted to cry, and i was so happy, and i felt like i was stoned, but without any bad bits, and now i feel more complete. and generally more joy.

thanks to a good friend of mine, Will, i am managing to stay strong, and face my parents and friends without fear, its going to be a hard journey, but i think it is egzactly what ive been waiting for.